Friday, September 25, 2009

If I were a Guy I would totally date a Feminist!!!

I don't get it when men roll their eyes at the mere sound of the word "feminist". The common perception is that all feminists are bra burning, non-leg-shaving, Doc-Marten wearing types that hate men. Not so! Actually, in this day and age, feminists make men's lives easier! I guess I got all irritated after reading Maureen Dowd's article in the New York Times So let me put on my "dude hat" and see why I would date one of today's feh-men-nysts!

-Yeah, I know your bored, white, middleclass foremothers clamored for more opportunities in the workplace. And you got them! But guess what? Work in the office sucks, and it seems your forebears forgot to ask for one thing....that we men should help out more at home to ease the domestic burdens you were still expected to do on top of doing the workforce thing. Sucks to be you, dude win for me!

-It's not my fault that instead of valuing the work that women did in the home as homemakers and caring for the youth, your forebears devalued it just like the men did. Even though as a man, deep down inside I know I probably couldn't handle the truly hard work it is to raise children and care for the community, it is easier to tell myself and society that what a woman does in the home is way less important than the corporate hunting and gathering I do at the office. You know, so no one expects me to do it. And now the feminists think the same way I do, that home work is beneath them. Instead your forebears outsourced the grunt work of caring for the home to kindhearted (read: exploited) women of color to do the work for them for little pay and no respect. Hey, I should have thought of that myself! Or wait, I did....I think it was called slavery or colonization of colored nations. Whatever. Dude Score!

-Hey, with a feminist I don't have to pay for dates, or open the door, pull out the chair...etc. Little victories, little victories

-That idea of sexual revolution was awesome. Your forebears were afraid that we menfolk thought of you as just sexual objects, only with that unwanted free-will/opinion/right to say no glitch that the divine engineer in the sky failed to iron out. Now, you've convinced yourself that the route to sexual freedom is to bang as many guys as possible. Most of us men folk think like this when we hear you: Yeah, yeah yea, blahblahblah women's movement woh woh woh freedom from patriarchy woh woh ownership of your sexuality woh woh.."What...honey? Yea, I heard you, I respect you of course!! Now uh....can you hurry and take your clothes off and do that gymnatics trick you said you could do? Youre so friggin hot!!" Yea, now you give up the goods for less trouble than it used to be. (But really, deep inside, we'd still prefer if you didn't give up the goods to 20 other guys before me. Maybe 2 guys max...still gives me a sense of accomplishment if you let me hit it) Dude mega score!!

- (Dude who is the CEO of any cosmetics company, advertising agency, fashion magazine, or any doctor of plastic surgery or corrective procedure) Hey wimin-folk, is it our fault that nowhere between the 1950's and now did any of you launch an effective way for women to truly appreciate and love their bodies in all shapes and sizes? Okay, maybe part of it is. But until you women find a way to inject 250 cc's of self-esteem into yourselves, we menfolk are going to make millions of injecting you with Botox, Restylane, collagen, hot asphalt, South American chincillia urine, or whatever else you think will make you look younger and hotter to us and compete with other women. You've got your own job, so you can pay for it. Because here's a secret, for the most part, many decent men think you look fine as you are with normal diet and exercise and a healthy attitude, so I would never give you money for such things.

Okay, dude hat off. I know many would disagree, but sometimes I think that we as society have not achieved the goals we wanted when it came to women's empowerment. I know things take time, years, generations. But I think we as women have shouldered the burden of our own empowerment on ourselves alone, and not asked men to participate. However, I read statistics in America that suggest things are changing, with men taking a little more reponsibility at home. (I think a generation ago, men did 6-7 hours of house work, and now its getting to be 13 or so. Still women are taking on 17 hours a week or something. I don't feel like looking it up. Journalism fail)

Point is, men prescibed us a male lens from ages untold, and we are still returning generation after generation to refill that prescription. That is, until we come to value our bodies at every shape and age, and respect the work of raising children, education, health, etc. Sure, maybe the frames on those lenses are now cute Chanel ones I saw in Glamour that have the new anti-eye aging function endorsed by Brooke Shields.

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